Self- Assessment for dairy

       I think my dairy turn out not bad. It is my first time to write a dairy, at the very beginning of my writing, I didn't know what can I write about, I need to used a very long time to write one entry, but as the time goes on, I become more skilled on it, when I finished this dairy I felt confident and happy on myself. 

       In my dairy, I creat some new characters. Because the dairy I wrote about is Ellen's dairy, so most of the characters I creat are Ellen's friend. I had described each character in some entries of my dairy. So I think I will give myself an A on this part.

       For detail, I think my dairy has a lot of detail. But for the front part of my dairy, I didn't pay a lot of attention on writing detail, but I start to mention more details. For this part I may give myself an A- or B+.

       The three most important things a dairy is norration, description, reflection. I think I did a lot of work on describe how did my character felt about in my dairy, and also I include a lot of detail of what is happening in my dairy. I had include many things that are happening in "Gathering the Pearl", and also a lot of things that are creat by myself like dancing performance in my dairy. I think I did a not bad job in this part, so I would give myself a A. 

         In my dairy, I think there are still some grammar mistakes, I had correct many of them, as I went to the writing center, Ms. Swift also help me to correct my grammar mistake too. In my dairy, there may be three different kind of tenses in one entry. I think I wrote most of my sentence in the correct tense, but sometime I may confuse myself as I used so many tenses in one entry. For this part, I think I may had a B+ or something like that. 

           The last things is the length of my dairy, I wrote about 3000 words for my dairy. I think this is the perfect length for my dairy. As Ms. Guarding said that we need to wrote at least 1900 words, but as my dairy went on, I felt like 1900 words in not enough to include detail in the dairy. So I think about 3000 words should be the perfect amount of t words. For this part, I may give myself a A+. Hahaha. 

Blog about Writing center

 

      This Tuesday, I went to writing center to get some advices about my "Gathering the Pearl" character's diary. My diary is about Ellen's life in "Gathering the Pearl". I had already finished 3/4 of my dairy that day, so I try to get some advices about what can I improve in my last 1/4 dairy, and what can I change or fix in the part that I had already finished. 

      When I first went into the writing, I was surprised about the atmosphere in the writing center. It is not like a normal classroom, it is more like a place for you to have a rest, there is a table on the center and some snacks on the table, also there are some cups for you to get drink and you can make your own coffee too. It make me felt relax and warm. Mrs. Swift is the teacher who helped me to fix my dairy. She first look at my dairy, because there are a lots of entries in my dairy so we just looked at some important entries in my dairy. The most frequent errors in my dairy is tense. Because dairy is very different from other writing essay, every single entry can include many tense, you need to use present tense to describe you feeling when you writing the dairy; you need to use past tense to describe the things that happened in the early of that day; you need to use further tense to describe the things that may happen in the future. I think it is difficult to change the tense and use so many tense in a very short dairy. Another two errors that is I usually will make mistakes on some proper noun, like some classes name; and I need more description in my diary, I should add more descriptions about things that happen in a day, or some descriptions about a character in the story. Because a good dairy should include many detail of things. 

          Also one of the most important things in this dairy is that you need to know about the character in the story very well, because you are not writing your own dairy, you are writing a dairy for a character in the book. So you should know about the characteristics of the character, what will the character do in his or her life, what will she or he think when she or he meet somebody or something happen. This can be challenge for me, because I can't write a dairy best on my own felling I should write a dairy base on Ellen's felling. 

           In the writing, Mrs. Swift also show me her favorite magazine, named National Geography. There are a lot of photos, and stories. I can know a lot of interesting things in this magazine, these things can also be materials in my essay. People will never lack of materials to write about, people just need a pair of eyes to find materials. 

Assignment 12/6

Comma splice: comma splice is the use of comma to join two independent sentences. 

Ex. I have one dollor, I can't buy that drink

Run-On sentence: two or more independent sentences are join without an appropriate punctuation or conjunction. 

Ex. I dive a car he rides bike.

Sentence fragnment: sentence fragnments are incomplete sentences, usually the sentences have become disconnect the main clause

Ex. Kevin gives

Independent clause: Independent clause is a complete sentence.

Ex. I love you

Dependent clause: a sentence that can't stand by its own

Ex. When I come here

Ellen's diary

 Starting Entry

           Tomorrow I will start my life in the university. I am looking forward to see what will my roommate be like. Is she pretty? Is she outgoing like me, or is she shy? Is she an international student? If she is an international student where does she come from? I have so many questions in my head, and I have no idea what will happen in my first year in the university. I will also have less time to stay with Kyle. I think I will miss him so much. He had became an important part of my life. Hope my life will going well. 

September 1st, sunny

          Today is my first day in university. The school is big and have many beautiful building around the campus. I met many new students and made a lot of new friends in the orientation program. They are nice and friendly. But my roommate didn't come to school today, a sister in the school told me that my roommate is a Korean. I am so curious about her, what is a Korean looks like? Does she look the same as American, and does she dress the sea as us? I am look forward to see her soon.

September 3rd, sunny

         My roommate finally arrived school, her name is Sookan. I saw her dressed in Korean tradition clothes in the lecture hall. She was pretty in those clothes, she told me those clothes are called Hanbok. My roommate is a little bit quiet, but she looks nice. I believe we will be a good friend in the future and we will have a wonderful dorm life in the rest of the year.  

September 4th, sunny

         I went shopping with Sookan. We bought some bed staffs in the super market, I think we had a happy shopping time, and I started speak more with Sookan. Her English is not very good, sometime she is hard to explain herself, but I will help her to practice her English. In the evening, we went to have a dinner with some students from older class, we have a good evening tonight. 

September 20th, cloudy

         Today I went to my mixer in this school. It was pretty nice, I made some new friends in the mixer. Kyle came to the mixer to join me, I was so happy to see him today. He wear a nice blazer, he looked handsome tonight, I glad that we can be couple. Kyle also bring some friends to the mixer, they are nice, and talkative. I had a good memory tonight. 

October 5th, rainy 

         Today is a raining day. The first month had pass few days before. My classes run good, but I don't really like to do the homework every nights. I prefer to stay with my friends and talk with them in the study hall. Sookan always study very hard during study hall. Same as today, but maybe because so she is a scholarship student so she always need to study hard to get a good grade to keep her scholarship. And it will be hard for her as a international student, I will keep helping her on her speaking skill. 

October 13rd, cloudy

          It is Saturday today, I went to the downtown to shopping today. I bought some new clothes today, my favorite one is a black dress. It looks really beautiful and it make people look slim when I wear it. I love the design of that dress, I think I am going to find a jewelry to wear with it, maybe pearls necklace will be a good choice. 

October 20th, sunny

           Tomorrow I am going to try to be the club president of the dance club in our school. I hope people can chose me, I love dance very much, and I went to a lost mixer in our school. I believe the people in our school will vote for me. I am seem like the perfect chose for them to vote for. I hope Sookan can try to be some job in our school someday. It should be a good experience for her to do that. 

October 28th, rainy 

         Sookan made a new friend these day, her name is Marci. She live across our room, her room is a single room. She love reading and photography, I can tell from she usually use camera to take a photo in our school. Sookan and her seem very close now. I am so happy to see that Sookan start to make friend with other now. She looked so quiet before, I think I will introduce my friends to Sookan one day. 

November 2ed, sunny

       Today Sookan finally eat lunch with me and my friends. We have a great lunch in the dining hall. We talk a lot and also decided to go to watch movie in the downtown this weekend, but Sookan need to do her baby sister job and professor Bennett home. But I had already invite Sookan to come to my home during thanksgiving holiday, I believe we will have a good time.

November 10, cloudy

        These day I could see Sookan a lot, she need to do her scholarship work in our school dinning hall. And she always went to library during study hall, she back so late that I already felt asleep when she back to room. I hope I can see her more time in school. Also I did not see Kyle a lot, he said that he will come tomorrow, I can not wait to see him tomorrow, I miss him so much.

November 23rd, sunny

         We started our thanksgiving break today. Sookan and I went back to my home right after school. I was so excited to see my parent today. They gave me a big hug and I introduced Sookan to them. They seem like interested with Sookan, I hope they can getting well in this thanksgiving. Sookan give me a suit of Hanbok and taught me how to wear it. Those are so beautiful and I love them so much. I love the gift from Sookan, I think I am going to prepare something surprise for her in Christmas. 

November 30th, sunny

       My thanksgiving break finished today. Me and Sookan came back to school in the afternoon. We had dinner in the restaurant next to our school. Marci joined us too, we had a great dinner tonight, and we start prepare for our classes tomorrow. I need to sleep early today, and get up early tomorrow to go to my first English literature class. 

December 10th, cloudy

      Today Sookan fainted in the bathroom today, I worried about her so much. She will go to Marci's home for Christmas break. I think Marci will take a good care of her. 3 days later is our Christmas break, I am going to meet Kyle in his university, I will stay with him for some days. It is always happy day for me to stay Kyle. My Christmas break should be wonderful, and hope Sookan will getting better in the coming days. 

December 13rd, sunny

      Today our Christmas holiday start, I heard that Sookan awake today. I was so happy to heard that. I met Kyle today, he bring me to have dinner with his friends. They are all kind to me and polite. I made some news friends today. I love to make friends, I think I am a person who can't life without friends. Friends is one of the most important things in my life. 

December 23rd, sunny

        Today Sookan invite me to have a Christmas dinner with her. I was so supprised to heard that. She said she will cook for me, she also invite Kyle to the dinner as well. We brought some flowers to the dinner. Sookan made a meal in Korean style, the beef she made was so good, I love the taste of that Korean style beef, the beef just metal when it come into my mouth. We also have chocolate cake for dessert.  Sookan can cook so well that I never know before, she always invite professor Bennett's family, and Sister Reed. We have a wonderful Christmas dinner tonight. It will be the most special Christmas dinner in my life and I will never forget today. 

December 26th, cloudy

       Today I went to but a Christmas gift for Sookan, I made this decision in thanksgiving when Sookan gave me the Hanbok. I went to downtown looked for some clothes that is suit for Sookan. I went to the same shop as the one I bought my black drew few months before. I saw a white dress with the same design as my black dress. I think I would be a good gift for Sookan, we can wear it at that same day together. We should look good in this pair of dress. 

January 1st, sunny

         Today is the first day of the year, I was so excited. This midnight, I cross the year with Kyle, we sat next to a lakes, I lay my head on his shoulder he pitted his hand to hug me on her shoulder. The weather is good there were many stars on the sky, we kissed under the moon. Everything seem so romantic, I really enjoyed that moment, . A new year start, everything is new, I hope I can have a good future and everything can go well this year. Also tomorrow will be the first mixer for the new year, I am so excited about that now. 

January 10th, rainy

         Today, our new semester started. I try some new classes in this semester, same as Sookan. I am so happy to see she chose a art class in this semester. I think she will have less pressure on study in this semester and have more free time. This is good for her to know more about America, now Sookan doesn't know much about America, I think she need to join more activity like mixer and some weekend trips in our school in her free time. 

January 20th, sunny

          The weather become colder now. Even though today is sunny, I still felt very cold when I was walking on the street. So I went downtown to buy a coat. I invited Mary to come with me. She is a student from the same grade as me, she had short brown hair and beautiful brown eyes. We have many same classes like American literature, and Europen history, and because we have so many same hobbies, we become a good friend to each other. We ate lunch in a Italy restaurant, we got pizza and pasta they taste wonderful. When I went back to school, Sookan just finished her baby sister work in professor Bennett's house. She told me that she will come to the next mixer, I was suprised about that, and look forward to see her in the next mixer.

January 31st, cloudy 

        Today, Sookan came to the mixer she met me, Kyle and Kyle's friend call Tom. Sookan looked pretty today in her new dress and her new pearl necklace. The atmosphere today is very good, Sookan and Tom talked a lot and became good friend. We all had a good time this evening. I think they will getting closer, or maybe they will become closer, who knows? Sookan join more activities now, I am happy to see that, it is good for her to do that. 

February 2ed, rainy

       Our dance club runs good right now. Everybody is excited about the final performance, everybody practice very hard today. Sweat flow on everybody's face, we were all very tired but we were also very happy. I can see everybody went out with smile on their face after everyday practice, I think we will do a good job on the performance. 

February 10th, sunny

      Kyle came to see me today. We went out to have dinner together, we had steak in a steakhouse in the down time, the steaks in there are good, I think I am going to bring Sookan to there and have a dinner together. Because the times we had dinner together are very limited, she always stay in library, and only eat sandwiches for dinner, I think she need to be good to herself sometime. 

February 24th, sunny

        Today I made three news friends in the school mixer. They are all older than me, one of them is a basketball player in our school, his name is James. He is very tall with a curly brown hair. He is the tallest guy I ever seen in my life, another two is a couple, the girl named Catalina the boy named Jack. I can always see them hold each other hand and walk together in the campus, but I never talked to them. They are both very humor, I believe their life should be happy everyday. 

  

February 30th, rainy

        I am so busy this week, that I should finish a big project before March. I didn't go out to hangout with my friends this week. Most of the time I stay in the room and doing the project, it is a history project about French Revolution. I need to make many research on the Internet to get more information and make my project be better. I really hate this kind of life, but this project worth so much so I should do it well. But I finish it today, so I am going to relax myself tomorrow. 

March 8th, cloudy

        Today our spring break began. I went back to see my family, the snow had already cover the roof of my home, and I saw my father was cleaning the snow when I arrived home. I saw my father was excited to see me, his face was show with smile. My mother cook a big meal tonight with roast chicken and BBQ pork. We had a good time this evening, and I will enjoy my spring break.

March 15th, sunny

         Today is my birthday. I got some birthday presents from many people. Sookan gave me a Korean traditional bag. It is very small, with some flower declaration in the front. She told I can use it to carry money and private staff in it when I go to downtown or movie trip to some other short activities. I love it very much. Kyle gave me a bracelet, it looks simple, but when I look carefully, I saw there are some words on the bracelet, it says "love Ellen forever." It is so special for me, I will keep this forever. 

March 20th, cloudy

       These day I saw Marci is reading a series of book call "Hunting Game". The story is about how there is a group of people in the world have super nature power. For example some have super strong body that nothing can hurt him. This group of people don't like each other, so they all try to defeat each other, and try to be the king of the world. It seem interesting to me, I don't like reading but the plot in the book makes me feel interested. I think I am going to start reading too. 

March 29th, rainy

         Today our school volleyball team was on the final against another school from Washington state. The game was exciting, the score is always close so the audiences were all very nervous, nobody know who will win the game in the end. In the last minute, the gym was quiet, nobody make any noise, finally we saw the top player in our school jump, stretch her hand and then used a smash to finish the game. We won, everyone in our school was excited, we are the champion!!! 

April 3rd, sunny

               Our dance club performance will perform next week, today we did our last practice. Everyone is excited for our last performance. After I finish, I saw Kyle was standing in the snow and waiting for me. He wearer a black coat and a grey scarf, he look so perfect in the snow, the sense just like a picture on the post card. He came here to get me and had a dinner together. We had a wonderful night and I am looking forward our dance final performance. 

April 10th, rainy 

          Today we did our final dance performance. First, we had a group dance, we did perfectly, nobody made any mistakes. After the group dance is my solo dance. My dance background music is "drop in the ocean." It is my famous song, I heard it in our school morning meeting, I love the melody, it make me think a lot. I love the feeling we I was dancing alone on the stage, I believe my friends and family should pound of me. It is a unforgettable memory for me. 

April 20th, rainy

         Kyle gave me a marriage ring, I was surprised and happy. He put the ring on my finger gently. I my face turn red, I was afraid to look at him, I was so shy at that moment. I told this to my parents, the thing that I can't believe is they asked me to give the ring back to Kyle. I was so mad at them, I will never did that, and I decide run away with Kyle. Sookan said that I should bring Kyle to meet my parents. But I don't want to do that. I believe I will have happiness life with Kyle.

  

May 1st, sunny

           Today I went to see my parents with Kyle. Because think maybe Sookan is right. I was so nervous today, I afraid I would had another argument with my parents. But the everything went well today, my parents think Kyle is polite, and nice. They can let us be together, but I should finish my university first. I think I should apologize to Sookan, she is right, I should bring Kyle to meet my parents.  

May 17th, cloud

           It is my last month in this year. I did so many things in this year. Tonight, Sookan and me had a long conversation, she told me that her mother was died few weeks before. I was shame that I didn't know before, I should know that, I was her roommate, I didn't know how to comfort her. I can tell she was feeling bad from the emotion showed on her face. I kept silence, I didn't know what else can I do. I hope she can come over it, I couldn't think what would happened if my mother died.  

May 20th, sunny

        Today I took all my exam. I went to met Kyle right after school. Today weather is good, on the way to Princeton, I can heard the bird was singing, the flower next to the street smell good, everything was beautiful after the final exam. I hope Sookan also did well on her exam. She said that she will stay in the school, I believe I will see her again in the summer vacation again.

Ending Entry

            My first year of university has finished. After all, everything goes good, I had a lot of new friends, especially Sookan, she is so special. She is my first Korean friend, I hope I can go to Korea one day. I can still remember the first time I saw her, she was in with long black hair, and dressed in the Hanbok. She looks pretty, and shy, after one year, we get closer and know each other more. I just got a painting from her today, there is a large, pink crystal vase holding a bouquet of white chrysanthemums on the picture. I love it so much, I think I should return something special to her. This year seem so short for me, I believe I will doing better next year. Goodbye, my freshmen year! 

Thanksgiving holiday diary

Nov 23rd, cloudy

           Today I went to Kona which is a place in another island in Hawaii called big island. It is the biggest island in Hawaii so it cal big island, it is a island with a lot of special activities on the island. It is the biggest volcano island in the world, on the almost center of the island, there is a volcano, and it just explored on the February this year. But the thing I went to do today is not going to see the volcano, I went to snorkeling to see the mantas in the sea. It is one of the coolest things I ever did in my life. In the afternoon, me and my parent got onto the boat and started our manta trip, the place is not very far away from the harbor, but when we arrive there it is the sun already gone down, and the sky color turned to black. We started to get into the sea when we arrived there, because it is dark under the water, so we needed to use light to help us to see clearly under the sea. The manta were big, everyone of them is all almost like 2 meters long, they both have huge mouth and seem like if it open it's mouth it can eat my whole arm, but fortunately mantas don't eat human, they feed on the plankton in the ocean. Some mantas just swan next to me and got close to me, but I was not allow to touch them, because it may hurt them by remove the protect coat on their skin. I stayed in the water for a long time, and I saw a lot of different kinds of fish in the ocean. Ocean is always a mystery place for me, every time you get into the ocean, you don't know what will you see. It is the coolest experience for me but also a unforgettable memory for me.

Thanksgiving holiday

    In the thanksgiving holiday I went to Hawaii with my parents. I had a lot of fun in Hawaii, the weather there is much warmer than the weather in cheshire. There are total four islands in Hawaii and I went to two of them, I did a lot of snorkeling in Hawaii and I love snorkeling. Snorkeling in Hawaii is special for me, because we went to see the mantas in the sea and it is the first time I saw manta in my life. It was a pretty cool experience, the mantas are mostly like 2 meters long, and their mouths are all very big, they swim next to me, but I didn't need to care if they will hurt me, because mantas don't eat human they eat the plankton in the sea. You usually go to sea manta at night, because they come out to find food at night, during the manta trip I also saw a lot of different kinds of fish, it is one of the unforgettable experience for me.