Revision review

       I just finished the first two body paragraphs in my essay, and I need to write one more body paragraph and one conclusion paragraph. The last body paragraph I am going to talk about how is Lorenzo and Will different and how are they similar. In the revision draft, I change my topic sentence a little which make the readers can understand more what I am talking about. Also I add more detail to explain my argument, because I know that there are some places in my essay which make reader confuse a lot from the feedback. And I did some grammar corrections too. I think there are still some spelling and grammar in my essay, so I am going to do more correction in my essay. And I plan to see Ms. Swift to see what else problems do I still have. Maybe about the essay structure, or the balance between analysis and summary.  I think my strengths is I have some special argument in my essay, and I use some quotes to support my argument, and I pick a good movie which the main character Will has some similar points with Lorenzo and also some different points with Lorenzo so I can talk more about them in my last body paragraph. The weakness in my essay are I usually make reader confuse on my essay, I may use more evident to do more explanation in my essay, and I need to correct all my grammar and spelling mistakes in my essay. The most difficult part when I wrote my essay is to explain my arguments, because the sentences I use to explain my arguments are too long, so I need to cut them, but sometime I don't know which parts do I need to cut and which parts do I need to save. But after all, during writing this essay, I think my writing had been improved. I feel like I can think more and have more interesting opinion to write about. Another thinks is I can write one paragraph in one time without stop. I usually would stop at some point and just stuck on it when I wrote essay before, but now I won't. so I think I had improve myself on writing this essay.